One survey found that 2.2% of married people reported that they had had more than one partner during a year. In general, according to researchers, between 15–25% of married Americans have affairs and men are more likely to engage in cheating than women. And there is a question as to why husbands who cheat don’t want to divorce, but still keep cheating.
We at Bright Side prefer to be objective about this topic and found 8 reasons why husbands don’t want to leave their wives for good.
1. His home is still the best place, in his opinion.
He’s known you forever, you cook for him, and you take care of the kids. He is comfortable with his life and is looking for an affair because he wants to try something new, not necessarily because he wants to change his life. Home for a husband like this is a castle.
There is no question in his head about whether he should leave. He doesn’t want this because, without his wife, it would be difficult for him to manage the house. Maybe there is no love or passion anymore, but there are friendship and respect. He just wants a comfort zone where he can take the best nap.
2. He is just looking for a “break.”
A CEO of one dating site for married people who are looking for affairs said in an interview that there are many of these types of cases when you have a good relationship with your partner. They are a part of a good family group, both have duties, but cheaters are not looking for a break-up in this case.
There is a big love between partners, but having an affair is just a time to relax and feel adventurous.
3. He thought he could find the answer about life in an affair, but hasn’t yet.
There is an interesting story about a husband who cheated on his wife. Yes, it was a total disaster. The woman went through the whole spectrum of feelings, but after some time she started to ask why. He didn’t look like he wanted to leave his family.
The answer was simple. He didn’t do it because there was something wrong with her or because she was an awful wife. He did it because there was something wrong with him.
Some men think that if there is a new woman, something will change and they will become happy, but it doesn’t happen. They do love their wives but still, they can be experiencing some psychological problems.
4. He actually loves his wife.
One woman shared her story about dating a married guy. He was a gentleman and a nice family guy. And the main thing was that he was not going to leave his wife. So, many of us might be asking why he’s behaving this way.
Another guy was able to answer this question. He had been happily married for more than 20 years and had kids. And yes, he loved his wife a lot, but he had been cheating for more than 15 years. It is just a “fetish” for him. At the same time, he also feels guilty about it.
5. He doesn’t have enough courage to change his life completely.
He has lived with his wife already for 10 years and been a perfect husband and father, but suddenly he meets his soulmate. Therapist Douglas LaBier calls this a “Mind-Body” affair. This new feeling can be very powerful and consume you from head to toe.
Sometimes in these cases, some men may prefer to divorce and get married again, but others can’t do it. They still have a huge connection with their wife.
6. He feels that there are strong chains, like children or a mortgage.
A lawyer who has dealt with many divorces shared her experience, saying that it is very painful to separate, but it is especially painful to stop being a full-time parent. These things can stop many people from getting a divorce, even if they are not happy together.
Maybe there is no love anymore between the spouses, but the responsibilities are still there and these chains can be very strong.
7. He doesn’t want to go through the pain of getting a divorce.
The word “divorce” evokes millions of bad emotions and associations. It involves dealing with lawyers, fighting, splitting property, and negotiating about time management for children.
Some men may prefer to leave everything like it is just so they don’t have to go through the tears, anger, and yelling that comes with this experience. Even if there is no healthy relationship anymore, it is just easier to find a lover.
Besides this, he still doesn’t want to stress out his kids and wife.
8. He realized he made a mistake when having an affair.
A man opened up that he had cheated on his wife with her close friend. He totally understood that it was a horrible mistake, but now he is in pain. The guy doesn’t know what to do or if he should tell his wife about it.
Of course, there are many opinions about whether he should confess or not, but even if she found out about it, he doesn’t want to break up with her because he still loves her.
Would you prefer to divorce or to forgive your partner if you found out that he had an affair? Do you believe that it is possible to love several people at once? Please, share your stories with us below!